September in Troy, NY

Well we made it through another summer. As someone who lives in a 180 year old brownstone in downtown Troy without any AC, this is a massive accomplishment. And, other than a backyard full of questionable looking container tomatoes, a serious commitment to fishtail braids, and a drought, what do I have to show for myself?

This ice is way sexier than the refrigerator ice I resorted to shoving down my pants to keep cool

Well… A lot, actually.

I gained the new neighbors Dante’s,  Finnbar’s Pub and Sweet Sues (they really snuck in under the wire with their August TNO opening). And by gained I mean storefronts and pounds. Thanks to the Olympics, I know how to speedwalk and spent last Friday evening darting between the the three until I finally gave up and went to Bacchus & Daisy’s to top myself off with some Malbec.

The Crap Shack OFFICIALLY is toast. Delightful to me because I have an aversion to vacant eyesores but probably not so much for the woman passed out in its bushes on Friday at 6 pm (way to greet the RPI and Sage freshman, Betty).  Her comfy nap space will be gone. And speaking of eyesores, the Barker Park benches went for a vacation. A lot of people seem to be ridiculously up in arms about it but the immediate result was we got the greatest article ever written in the Troy Record. On a personal note, I have seen a significant drop in the amount of penis sightings (unrequested, obviously). From an average of 4 a day to 0. I usually don’t get 0 until the dead of winter when we’re in a real cold snap and Santa’s watching! Also, there’s been less public park pooping. Everything is coming up Maxby!

Santa doesn't mind a bit of creeping, but he hates park pooping.

I have a lot to look forward to, as well. Both the new Dunkin Donuts and 12 2nd  are supposed to open by the new year. I’m not a huge fan of the DD ever since they stopped making donuts on site but some mornings I will murder a mocha coolata like it’s no one’s business.  And I don’t think I really need to sell anyone on No 12 2nd. It will supposedly have almost all of my favorite things: wine, cheese, and confections. If they decide to install a kitten tank (a fish tank filled with kittens and no water. I can’t believe I had to explain it), Vic and Heather better just give me the keys because I will be locking up EVERY NIGHT.

Looking back on this photo now, Bill realized this was the moment he peaked. I know this feeling, Bill. I once woke up in a bathtub filled with glitter and kittens after drinking 2 bottles of champagne. I've been chasing that high for years...

And finally, it seems like a lot of places with a large student population have a big “Town and Gown” issue. I’m looking at you, Pine Hills neighborhood in Albany. And someone is ALWAYS dying in Oxford when college is in session. While there are always going to be issues between 18 year olds on their own for the first time and their surrounding environment, RPI and Sage students are a relatively well behaved lot and I like it when they’re back in town. I seriously missed playing “Girrrrl, where are your friends? You are missing a shoe and you are in the bathroom at a bar!” at the Ruck this summer while college was out. It’s a long and cumbersome name, I know, but it’s really fun to play. Basically, the rules are:  find a girl that has been wandering around with one shoe on at the Ruck and the person that makes the most functional shoe out of items found in the bathroom, wins.

So welcome back my drunk little nuggets. Invite me to your next party at the Castle, k?

This is my frat party outfit.