Jess eloquently put her absence into words a few days ago so I figured I’d take my turn. And, catch your breath because the explanation is: It’s HOT.
That’s not a complaint, just a fact. Generally I don’t complain about the weather or Mother Nature because I think it’s silly and she scares me. It’s the same reason I don’t sit near the lady that smells like cat litter on the bus. I’m just telling you that it’s hot because when the temperature goes above 85, CMaxby does one of two things: wears no pants or drinks outside. Neither of these things are truly worth writing several summer blog posts about which is why I’ve been so quiet lately.
But Maxby, you say. You’re put together not entirely unfortunately (exact words a guy said to me once, btw. I obviously swooned at the compliment.), tell us more about wearing no pants! Well fine. I sit like this fellow watching reruns of BBC shows and drinking glasses of Tutidi Brachetto in the hopes that my core body temperature will drop below 150 degrees.
Ok… so what about drinking outside, you say. That could be interesting. You should write about that!
Welp. The issue there is it’s so hot out I guzzle my first beer because driving wildly down war torn Route 2 has left me parched with dust up my nose. As I’m already dehydrated from the heat, this one beer gets me buzzed like the control tower in Top Gun and my night is over. So I go back to the couch and my BBC reruns and lose the pants again.
One day I will get real lazy or heat stroked and combine the two (no pants and drinking outside, not getting buzzed on war torn Route 2. Although that could be fun.). I promise to write about it upon my release from the authorities.