I Predict a Riot in Troy, NY

April 20, 2012 by cmaxby


Look, weekends arent a competition for who has the most fun. Frankly, you should be having so much fun with us all week that the weekend is just a the Cherry Raspberry Ale on top of your Snowman Sundae week. But I get it. I work in an office, too. Sometimes, Monday morning sure as shit seems like a competition when people are milling around humblebragging about little Timmy Jr’s participation medal or the road trip Most Fabulous Boyfriend took them on to to Romantickal Howes Caverns.

P.S. NOT the rock she wants.
P.S. NOT the rock she wants.

But, thanks to the Arts Center, you will be looking forward to those cubicle chats. Because… THIS SATURDAY IS THE RIVER STREET RIOT!  There’s going to be dancing, live music and a fashion show (with DATE AUCTION!). By now, you should know that the only thing we can refuse less than a cash bar and dancing, is a bar, dancing and live music (which means we’re available to appear as wedding entertainment).

The food is going to be by Dinosaur and, while I have no idea why we weren’t asked to

Artist's rendering of the horse I bid on
Artist's rendering of the horse I bid on

be a part of it, I really want to see what a date auction entails. I once bid on a horse at Fasig Tipton (now that is how you do a humblebrag, my friend. F you, Little Timmy Jr.) and I imagine it’s very similar. Just with less legs and body hair (I hope).

Anyway, I’m telling you all of this so that you’ll come and dance with me. You won’t be disappointed. At the very least, you’ll see Jess try and contain her Beyonce tendencies. And, let’s face it. I haven’t steered you wrong yet, have I?
Exactly. See you at 6.
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