Empty Threats/Uncle Sam/Spring Fever

April 24, 2013 by Jessica

Here’s the thing.

Sometimes I don’t have anything new to say about Troy. I mean…..the bar was set pretty high with Maxby posting about current events, teaching us how to use google, and will I ever really top the MC Hammer pants of last winter? Probably not. I feel like my friend Nicole who always laments over peaking in 1st grade. It’s all downhill from here. Sigh.

There’s actually a ton going on here in Troy. I have just been too busy cooking chicken, finding the perfect pair of salmon colored pants, and smoking clove cigarettes like its 2001, to string together some sentences about it.

(Spring fever is a real thing and I’m at about 103.)

Here are some things I wanted to write about but didn’t:

1The Sams. Ok first of all. What. We hear about the Sams from the BID, the depths of the internet, and awesome local artists AWESOME GEOFFREY RAYMOND who gave us all carte blanche with a sharpie on his own very own Sam.  The buzz was astir, but they were not yet out and about. Then one morning, just like that, they were there. Creepily wrapped in trash bags and way too reminiscent of a Scott Peterson type incident (too soon?) they scarily adorned our corners,  casually calling out to us to unwrap them/save their lives. But like I told Jim Scully, “Elizabeth Young told us not to unwrap them!!” And the cool part is, or from what I know at least, everyone listened. This Friday, the masks come off, and like the season finale of The Swan, we finally get a glimpse into the eyes of our beloved. I am confident they will all be beautiful, and am going on the record to say that if I see or hear of anyone defacing a Sam, I will utilize my particular set of skills, find you, and Scott Peterson you.

2-Reese Witherspoon. So from what I read, Reese gave a cop some attitude. Is this really that big of a deal? We all should show respect for law enforcement, that is the standard. Her husband should NOT have been driving and drunk driving should not be tolerated. Obviously. But is it really that interesting or surprising that she popped out of the car when they arrested her man? Everyone is like….“ohhh but she has a squeaky clean image.” Well. She wasn’t driving drunk, she sassmouthed a cop, and if that’s your biggest and only offense, you’re still pretty squeaky. Seriously. Is everyone really that square that her having “one too many” drinks and acting a fool is such a national news srory? Please.

3-Daisy Bakers put their umbrellas out. You know what that means. Get ready for curbside Sinatra and many, many, many Gin & St.Germain’s or whatever your patio beverage of choice is. We are in full swing.

4- We have a new and amazing Japanese hibachi restaurant!!! If you have been crying in your coffee over the lack of Asian options in our fine city, cry LESS tonight because JAPANICA is here. FYI: Japan + Merica = JAPANICA. The sushi here was amazing and the staff was so super sweet. They have 3 top of the line hibachi tables, WITH Korean BBQ, that they expect to roll out sometime next month. I say go check it out now for sushi and seaweed salad before the place blows up. It’s right up in City Station. There are 4 reviews on Yelp and they all are nice. I wonder if Daniel B. will come.

5- Finnbar’s has a new burger that will satisfy even the hungriest meatpacking Sam. Check out their awesome back courtyard and get yourself an Old Glory burger this weekend. Glazed apples, red onion, blue cheese, AND bacon. I mean really.

5- This Saturday is Defazio’s 5th Annual Stickball tournament in the marketplace at the bottom of Hill Street. Rocco and co. will be collecting non perishable food donations. If you are not playing, pop by and check out the action and bring some of those cans you know damn well you are not going to use. Better yet, bring something good.

5- My friends in the Stone Revival band are playing Friday night at Dinosaur and are covering THE ENTIRE STICKY FINGERS album in its entirety. This is one of my favorite records of all time. I have it on vinyl but it melted. I keep the jacket because…well….how can you not. Here’s hoping this gets me a shoutout.

5- Croptops. Crop tops are back in full effect. Really. Thoughts? I’m not the one who said this was OK…….but I can’t make any promises and have already given a full warning to most of my friends and now the general public. Apologies.

Pre Old Glory Burger
Pre Old Glory Burger

6- And. Bacchus has Lagunitas Sucks back on tap and its going to be 70 degrees all weekend. Here’s to making Reese look squeaky clean, once again.

Happy Wednesday.

POST BY Jessica
There was a void in her life. A spicy, meaty void . And the desire to fill that void led her across the river from Albany, to Troy, NY. It was there that she finally found it. Jamaican Beef Patty perfection. And lots of it. Late at night, I Love NY Jamaican Beef patties fueled her shenanigans. During the day, the premade frozen beef patties at the 3rd St bodegas kept her energy up for back to back yoga sessions. Like the Bee Girl from the Blind Melon video, she finally found a place with people like her. Except she’s a ginger. And not chubby. Slowly, it dawned on her. Troy, NY was meant for her and she made the purchase that would ensure she could remain, pockets filled with spiced meat encased in preservative laden dough: white curtains to put in her windows so as not to run afoul of the Troy Historic District’s guidelines. She could breathe easy. This was home. *****************************************************************************************************