Saving Yourself…. and A Lot.

August 13, 2012 by Jessica

If anyone besides Paula Cole is wondering where all the cowboys have gone, I think the best answer is just that Troy is really quiet in August. We’ve been quiet over here….or boring, or relaxed, or lazy. Something about a 95 degree haze just has it’s way with you. YOu can wear a burlap caftan all August in Troy and no shoes. No one will notice or flinch. This blog may bore (euthanize) you based on the fact that it is mostly about Grocery stores…it’s that quiet. If you are looking for some relaxed things to do right now, here are some wild ideas. If you are looking for something radical to do right now, please scroll down far away from this post.

The Library. I love it here. As soon as I cleared up my past grievances from ’92, I have been on a roll. There is something about leaving the library and walking home with a huge stack of plastic covered books that makes me feel all sorts of giddy. It’s good. You can get movies there too. So….I watched Food INC and Fast Food nation in the same week….and proceeded to not eat. I am pretty sure I should never have been allowed to see those poor chickens…and the poor tomatoes too. It was really gross and sad and I tried to grow a garden but all I have is Basil. Other than the horrifying documentaries I’ve been taking in, I really love the Library. It’s so beautiful and smells like old books and is really peaceful. AND FREE.

The prettiest.

CHEATING. On Troy with Saratoga. Sorry, but it’s just going to happen. It’s the best Summer love affair of all and I won’t deny it. Days spent laying in the grass, making shishkabobs,and doing those library books a solid. VERY tiring stuff.

YOGAing. A solid amount. Our favorite instructor is leaving Shanti but has been teaching in Washington Park once a week at sunset times….which is the nicest thing in the world. Also, Renee teaches an INTENSE Saturday morning class at Shanti and then immediately after, a Barre Fusion class at the Troy Dance Factory. Seriously, if you are looking to punish yourself….this is a great way to go on a Saturday morning. The day has already been a great success if you can bang that out by 10:30. Go ahead. Bloody Mary the day away after that. You have already won.

TRAVEL (far)- Get yer maps out, folks. It has come to my attention that the 100% best espresso in Troy is in BRUNSWICK (le sigh) at Mochablend. Hands down. This is great to know, but very sad considering its a 15 minute drive and near nothing that I want. I did it this weekend, and it made me really happy…but it definitely is not going to be a regular thing. SO, can some of the downtown places please go get a drink from Mochablend and then recreate this for us?? A medium sized soy latte has 3 full shots of espresso. THREE. Not one. I have a need for speed. Please.

(Needs less speed....)

GROCERY SHOPPING- (very, very, very exciting) – I refuse to wait in an even bigger line than usual, so I have not checked out Trader Joes yet. I will….but it will have to be right at opening or right before close so no lives are lost. This past Friday I was driving down 4th and suddenly saw someone I used to know. Like a normal terrible driver would do, I sharply jerked my car to the curb, half pulled over, jumped out of my running car, and attacked. She was one of my FAVORITE students from my old job that I 100% LOVE. We talked on the street for a while, and then I ended up giving her a ride to the grocery store. Save A Lot. On Hoosick. I’d never been. She said it was the cheapest store ever. So, the next day, I went. First of all, I looked like a giant asshole…..you have to pay for the carts and have them unlocked. I did NOT know this…I thought it was just stuck, so was found furiously jerking with all my might this cart from the bunch of carts. Finally a 16 year old boy came over to me and told me I had to pay. There really should be a sign. I paid, I shopped, and I SAVED A LOT.

Gotta have a list.
You should know that all of the produce is very close to rotten, the meat is scarier than the meat in FOOD INC, and the selection is poor to none. Use your imagination. This is NOT the fresh market folks. BUT, I got avocados for 45 cents! Cleaning supplies and detergents for basically free. Canned stuff for 50 cents. I was wondering how everything could be so inexpensive so I asked my cashier. He was not impressed. I’m not really sure what’s going on here or it’s even legal to sell an Avocado for 45 cents but I LOVE Guacamole. I would recommend checking it out for the Avocados alone. Do you even know all the things you can do with Avocados??! Just be prepared…this place is basically like a crime scene and nobody is going to help you at all. If you are in the mood to hunt, it’s worth a look. I still had to go to Price Chopper after because SAVE A LOT does not have Corriander Chutney or gluten free anything and you should really NOT even ask for things like that there if you want to gain the respect you deserve. You have to act right and just don’t ask for help, don’t ask for bags, don’t ask why things are so cheap, don’t ask for the seafood counter, don’t ask for anything. No one is going to help you and you will look hopelessly amateur.

STOPPING FIRE- (Eeeeeeee)
Another reason I’ve been quiet is because we definitely have a lunatic running around burning shit down in Troy. I called this in February…..not like I am abreast of ALL news or anything, but it’s pretty difficult to not notice everything is burning down around you. Every time I hear a firetruck (which is a lot) we all look towards our houses. Arsonists scare me. This is no crime of passion killer or bank robber. Burning things down??? That’s some Joker shit right there, and frankly, that guy scares the bajeeeezus out of me. This article says that the motives for arson include revenge and sexual gratification. I get the revenge part. In a concerted effort not to be arsoned, I’ve been laying low.

OLYMPICS-
RIO 2016. We got this.

POST BY Jessica
There was a void in her life. A spicy, meaty void . And the desire to fill that void led her across the river from Albany, to Troy, NY. It was there that she finally found it. Jamaican Beef Patty perfection. And lots of it. Late at night, I Love NY Jamaican Beef patties fueled her shenanigans. During the day, the premade frozen beef patties at the 3rd St bodegas kept her energy up for back to back yoga sessions. Like the Bee Girl from the Blind Melon video, she finally found a place with people like her. Except she’s a ginger. And not chubby. Slowly, it dawned on her. Troy, NY was meant for her and she made the purchase that would ensure she could remain, pockets filled with spiced meat encased in preservative laden dough: white curtains to put in her windows so as not to run afoul of the Troy Historic District’s guidelines. She could breathe easy. This was home. *****************************************************************************************************
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